24 mayo 2011

does dropping falafel balls into scorching hot oil count as disintegrating all my feelings for you?

Working in a falafel shop gives me a lot of time to think
Like during lunch rush
When i monotonously drop balls of falafel mix into a deep fryer
one after another
for two hours.

Today, I imagined that each falafel ball I dropped into the scorching oil
was one of the words you said to me over the past 3 months
(they aren't that many words
and they were more numerous at the beginning of the three months
than as of late).

Last night we had what I think will be our last conversation
and somewhere between the "I got tired of your immaturity"
and the "I was never in the place to share the feelings you had for me"
I realized that I didn't quite give a shit about you, Jon Ross.
Saying your name doesn't even feel like a form of address anymore.
It's just a generic phrase in this poem
for "boy who doesn't text me."

I wrote all those psycho poems about you
but I really just needed to turn you into an object of poetic obsession
to distance myself from the feelings I had for you
that night in a bar
in Palm Beach.
You're kind of a dumb, shallow bro.
But it took me 3 months and god-only-knows-how-many manic poems about you to figure this out.
The last time we spoke (before last night I mean)
you talked to me about Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj, how big your dick is and the fact that your ex couldn't ever bear how big your dick was long enough for you to finish in him.
Items 1, 3 and 4 on that list should've warned me, but I guess item 2 seemed kinda cool at the time.
And when I'm drunk items 1 and 3 are tempting too.

I also remember one time when you texted me: ":) you are too cute"
Is that four words? Or does the smiley face count too?
I don't know. I'll drop 5 falafel balls just in case
and watch a pillar of smoke rise up from the oil.
Everything about you would make me want to plunge into that oil
if I hadn't turned you into such an object
for my poetic consumption.

I guess it's a good thing I write poetry.
If not, working in a falafel shop might be dangerous.

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